This is my plea for men to start acting like men; our failure to do so has significantly hurt the cause of the gospel.

We all know the guy. Maybe he’s a metro-sexual worship band leader who sings cute love songs to Jesus. Maybe he’s the “nice guy” neighbor whose excessive optimism and pep makes you feel awkward at times. Or maybe he’s the bohemian who comes across as ultra-humble because he’s unwilling to take a stand on anything (unless, of course, it happens to be something as non-controversial as recycling or fighting poverty). He’s often likeable, and even quite admirable; he’s not like those rigid, hard-hearted, moralistic conservatives. But unfortunately, this new and popular form of “piety,” what I like to refer to as “passivity and puppy love,” is really nothing more than Pharisaism revamped.

How is this so? After all, didn’t we already distinguish this from legalisism and fundamentalism—the very soul of Pharisaism in America today? 

Yes and no. Externally, this new piety seems quite different. It appears much more humble and accepting than the rigid, judgmental Pharisaism we’re so used to. However, on the inside, it’s very much the same. This new piety has become, to us, in contemporary Christian culture, the ultimate display of righteousness. We’ve come to take pride in our “humility,” to actively pursue passivity and flee any type of conflict, and to reduce our relationship with God to a purely emotional experience. It is the new Pharisaism because, while appearing righteous on the outside,  it seeks self-glorification on the inside. We want, like the Pharisees, an appearance of righteousness, simply so that we can feel good about ourselves and have others pat us on the back. 

True humility is a very good thing; so is the ability to “turn the other cheek.” And emotion is a God-given gift with which we are supposed to glorify him. However, most of the time, we’re phonies. All of these genuinely righteous lifestyles are simply faked and counterfeited so that we may deceive others into giving us glory. 

Jesus rebuked the Pharisees for their long, verbose prayers, which were a showy display of their religiosity. When spiritual leaders try to bolster their prayers with emotional words simply for dramatic effect, is this any different? Is praying in a soft, calm voice more spiritual than speaking to God as we would normally speak? Don’t get me wrong; if the emotion is genuine, this is perfectly acceptable. But how often have we tried to emotionalize our prayers simply for the sake of looking more spiritual to others?

And what of our ultra-passive, non-confrontational tendencies? To most people, this appears to be humility. Yet when we refuse to take a stand on significant issues or purposefully avoid preaching the gospel, we’re only being prideful. We don’t want our reputation to be hurt; we don’t want to come off as intolerant. We think that our public image is more important that the truth of God’s word. We take pride in being the “nice guy” and don’t want to cause ourselves discomfort; we hate conflict and avoid it at all costs. We tithe our mint, dill, and cumin while neglecting weightier matters.

Thus, it is unfortunate that so many men have fallen victim to this sort of effeminate,  fraudulent piety. As C.H. Spurgeon once said, “Men who are easy as an old shoe are generally of little worth.” We’ve detracted from the majesty and might of the one true God and turned him into a giant teddy bear among other stuffed animals in the American Pantheon. How could anyone take us seriously? My prayer is that the gospel would convict us and that the Holy Spirit would change our hearts, leading us to a more full-bodied and sincere faith, as well as a more biblical masculinity.