As I was listening to the radio today, I heard that a recent study¹ found my hometown of Cincinnati to be #4 out of the top five manliest cities in America. However, here are the criteria for evaluation:

1. Number of professional sports teams.
2. Use of tools and hardware.
3. Frequency of monster-truck rallies.

That’s it; no joke. Finally, the keys to true masculinity have been made known to us. And, thank goodness, it only takes three things: sports, tools, and monster trucks.

While I fully realize that this study was for entertainment purposes only, I must say that I don’t buy into the idea that Cincinnati is a manly city. Sure, sports may reflect the fact that God made man with a natural drive toward mission and conquest. Tools perhaps reflect man’s God-given nature to build and restore. And monster trucks, well, they could reflect the passion for strength and intensity that, once again, God built into man. But “macho-ness” is not manliness, and, while I realize this study was not intended to be serious, our society has some fundamental misconceptions about masculinity that are leading us down a dangerous path.

In reality, most men in our culture have no idea how to actually be men; fathers aren’t instructing their sons, the public schools sure aren’t teaching it, and good role models are hard to come by. Look at the way men are presented on television sitcoms; husbands are generally into “macho” activities but also happen to be complete idiots with no idea how to take care of their wives and families (specifically, I think of Tim Allen’s character on Home Improvement or Kevin James’ character on The King of Queens, but there are plenty of other examples). Therefore, our concept of what is “masculine” involves much of the following:

• Red meat
• Poker
• Chest hair
• Grunting
• Flatulence & the infamous “pull my finger” trick
• Cars or, even better, trucks
• Beer
• Laziness
• Blood & sweat, but never tears
• Hunting
• Video games
• Intellectual and emotional shallowness
• Belly flab
• Primitive camping
• War, weapons and the military
• Clogging up the toilet
• Starting firesand, yes,  
• Sports
• Tools
• Monster truck rallies

Of course, not all of these things are necessarily wrong; however, when they supplant true masculinity, there is a problem. In fact, many of us try to fake real masculinity through them; we reject the purpose that God has given us and try to replace it with a few behaviors that we think will make us look like masculine men. To be sure, we can enjoy red meat, beer, camping, and sports, even to the glory of God, but when we turn to such things to escape our calling as men, we are only fooling ourselves. Poor masculine leadership is essentially what started and now sustains the feminist movement. This city needs men who will step up, be responsible and intelligent, provide for their families, lay down their lives for their wives, discipline and train their children, and, above all, preach the gospel. And unfortunately, I have yet to see this in any significant capacity. Sorry Cincinnati, I don’t think you’re really that manly.

I do want to add a caution, however, to what I’ve said. It’s quite easy to blog about masculinity and even make controversial statements that don’t go over too well in a hyper-egalitarian society. The difficult thing, however, is to practice what we preach. We are lazy, prideful, sinful human beings, and unfortunately, we can talk about masculinity all we want without getting anywhere. It’s easy to think that being masculine requires that we boldly announce our views of manhood to the world, but ultimately, the problem is not a philosophical one, but a pastoral one. It involves real people, not just ideas, and getting into arguments over the web is not only fruitless, but it often constructs unnecessary barriers between us and our opponents. Should we be bold and forthright about our convictions regarding biblical masculinity? Absolutely. I am not suggesting compromise. However, we must not sacrifice meekness in the name of boldness, and we must not reduce a relational problem to an academic one. Furthermore, our desire to see change should begin with the relationships around us. We want to fight battles that can be won, not battles that only serve to further escalate the war. In postmodern America, this will take some tact, but above all, it will require legitimacy, sincerity, dedication, and careful and intentional relationships with those around us. So, with that being said, who wants to go camping?

¹This study was apparently done by Sperling’s BestPlaces as part of a promotion by Combos snacks. Obviously it is not serious research.

This is my plea for men to start acting like men; our failure to do so has significantly hurt the cause of the gospel.

We all know the guy. Maybe he’s a metro-sexual worship band leader who sings cute love songs to Jesus. Maybe he’s the “nice guy” neighbor whose excessive optimism and pep makes you feel awkward at times. Or maybe he’s the bohemian who comes across as ultra-humble because he’s unwilling to take a stand on anything (unless, of course, it happens to be something as non-controversial as recycling or fighting poverty). He’s often likeable, and even quite admirable; he’s not like those rigid, hard-hearted, moralistic conservatives. But unfortunately, this new and popular form of “piety,” what I like to refer to as “passivity and puppy love,” is really nothing more than Pharisaism revamped.

How is this so? After all, didn’t we already distinguish this from legalisism and fundamentalism—the very soul of Pharisaism in America today? 

Yes and no. Externally, this new piety seems quite different. It appears much more humble and accepting than the rigid, judgmental Pharisaism we’re so used to. However, on the inside, it’s very much the same. This new piety has become, to us, in contemporary Christian culture, the ultimate display of righteousness. We’ve come to take pride in our “humility,” to actively pursue passivity and flee any type of conflict, and to reduce our relationship with God to a purely emotional experience. It is the new Pharisaism because, while appearing righteous on the outside,  it seeks self-glorification on the inside. We want, like the Pharisees, an appearance of righteousness, simply so that we can feel good about ourselves and have others pat us on the back. 

True humility is a very good thing; so is the ability to “turn the other cheek.” And emotion is a God-given gift with which we are supposed to glorify him. However, most of the time, we’re phonies. All of these genuinely righteous lifestyles are simply faked and counterfeited so that we may deceive others into giving us glory. 

Jesus rebuked the Pharisees for their long, verbose prayers, which were a showy display of their religiosity. When spiritual leaders try to bolster their prayers with emotional words simply for dramatic effect, is this any different? Is praying in a soft, calm voice more spiritual than speaking to God as we would normally speak? Don’t get me wrong; if the emotion is genuine, this is perfectly acceptable. But how often have we tried to emotionalize our prayers simply for the sake of looking more spiritual to others?

And what of our ultra-passive, non-confrontational tendencies? To most people, this appears to be humility. Yet when we refuse to take a stand on significant issues or purposefully avoid preaching the gospel, we’re only being prideful. We don’t want our reputation to be hurt; we don’t want to come off as intolerant. We think that our public image is more important that the truth of God’s word. We take pride in being the “nice guy” and don’t want to cause ourselves discomfort; we hate conflict and avoid it at all costs. We tithe our mint, dill, and cumin while neglecting weightier matters.

Thus, it is unfortunate that so many men have fallen victim to this sort of effeminate,  fraudulent piety. As C.H. Spurgeon once said, “Men who are easy as an old shoe are generally of little worth.” We’ve detracted from the majesty and might of the one true God and turned him into a giant teddy bear among other stuffed animals in the American Pantheon. How could anyone take us seriously? My prayer is that the gospel would convict us and that the Holy Spirit would change our hearts, leading us to a more full-bodied and sincere faith, as well as a more biblical masculinity.

In this report put out by the University of Cincinnati’s School of Planning, it is noted that, in Cincinnati, while “poverty and female headed households are not synonymous…over 70 percent of the families in poverty are headed by a female.”

The problem, of course, is not women; it’s men (or lack thereof). These statistics show that 70 percent of poverty stricken families have no male provider. Single mothers, then, are forced to both raise children and provide for their household. The implications of this are deeply saddening. Along with children who lack healthy parental influence—especially that of a father—comes increased crime and decreased probability that these children will be successful in school (and, consequently, in their future career). With a feeling of little or no hope for the future, young people turn to drugs, prostitution, and violence, as they oftentimes find such industries to be more lucrative than any alternative. What makes this worse, however, is that babies are still being born under such circumstances. In other words, the cycle continues; many young men grow up without a father’s example of responsibility, and many young women lack a good protector and male role model. The poverty continues from generation to generation; the disease only seems to worsen. One might begin to think that this system cannot be escaped.

What urban Cincinnati needs is some good fathers. I don’t know how this can actually be accomplished, quite frankly, but I know it must involve the work of the gospel breaking into people’s lives. Revival is needed; the Church needs to train and equip young men to be good fathers and husbands, instead of baby-daddies who bail out on their family. The only way that the addictions, the broken homes, and the violence can truly be stopped in our city is by gospel transformation. How then can we reach these people and proclaim to them the truth?